I am a Veteran, I served 8 years on active duty in the United States Navy. Iâ€™ve deployed twice, been to 5 countries, have over 600 days at sea, and I loved every minute of it (even the parts I hated I loved).
This Veterans day I want to address a few things with my fellow Vets as well as those whoâ€™ve never served.
1. Youâ€™re not a snowflake.
Since September 11, 2001 our military has done just fine with hitting their recruitment numbers. Some men & women signed up to â€˜get backâ€™ at those who took 3,000 innocent American lives. Others signed up for the great benefits; and the final group, the one I belong to signed up because weÂ felt a sense of duty to ourÂ country as well as knowing that weÂ needed the military.
I was accepted to college, but IÂ hated school. I was unmotivated and had no idea what it was I wanted to do, so I joined the Navy knowing it would discipline me and Iâ€™d have a chance to become a man and do some awesome stuff.
I separated from the Navy as an E6 as well as the Sailor of the year for my command in 2014. Since then I cannot count the number of times that I have had military guys get in my face or challenge me online using their military service as some form of â€˜trump cardâ€™ (no disrespect to our President).
My fellow Vets, just because someone doesnâ€™t have the US Flag patch on their hat or they arenâ€™t wearing a piece of clothing which annotates their unit from a past life, it does not mean they never served. It means theyâ€™ve closed that chapter of their life and donâ€™t feel the need to share their service with the world.
Donâ€™t say, â€œI served so I deserve Xâ€ or â€œI was active duty so I have a more important opinion than youâ€ as that is just barely less annoying than the entitlement that is shown by the youth of today.
You arenâ€™t entitled to anything from people just because you fought for this country.
From the VA? Hell yes as they owe you what was promised. I use their services and thus far I have no complaints. I’veÂ received everything they promised.
If the VA is screwing you over, go ahead and drop the war hero lines on them and get them to unfuck themselves, you deserve it.
But, when you arenâ€™t getting what you want whether it be standard of service at a restaurant, the price of a product you want at discount, or in an online argument do not bring your military service into the mix, it has no place and makes you look weak.
If you have an argument then let your position stand on it’s own merit, don’t try to intimidate via ‘vet’ status.
If the topic of discussion does not directly correlate with your time in uniform, let it go.
I deployed; I missed my sonâ€™s first birthday, his first steps, and all sorts of doctorsâ€™ appointments and milestones in the beginning of his life. My wife took pictures & videos, she did all she could but itâ€™s not the same as being there, those are things he never knew and I will never forget.
I had a fresh reservist whose never deployed (He had a National Defense Ribbon and I overheard his reserve buddies talking) tell me I should appreciate the sacrifice he made for this country when I told him he should let it go that the store didnâ€™t have a military discount.
I didnâ€™t pull out my awards, higher rank, or military stats as what would that have done? I just said it again, cool, calm, and collected, â€œLet it go.â€ Â and with a huff and a puff, he did.
You never know who youâ€™re talking to, they may be a Veteran as well and itâ€™s safe to assume that they are if they are challenging you in uniform.
Donâ€™t be a dick, you arenâ€™t special.
2. Get rid of hero complex
I was an engineer in the Navy. I worked all over my ship on pumps, HP/LP lines, Cryogenics, and all sorts of miscellaneous machinery.
I never fired a weapon at any terroristsÂ and the closest I came to being shot by a ‘bad guy’Â was when an enemy submarine snuck through our defenses and popped up near my ship. We went to General Quarters and I ran off to my pump-room where I closed the hatch and I distinctlyÂ remember thinking, â€œSo this is where it endsâ€.
I spent the next however long down their watches gauges waiting to get blown up.
I didnâ€™t come home saying I was a war hero and I didnâ€™t tell people I was some sort of Navy SEAL. I was an engineer and am proud of that; we arenâ€™t all Joe Operators, yet there are many who can’t get over that.
Some Veterans, years after serving, still talk about how they didnâ€™t do enough or if theyâ€™re on the other side of the spectrum they embellish the shit out of their stories.
Donâ€™t mess around with Stolen Valor
You served your country, take pride in that.
You have to have some honor in who you are and what you did. If you want to â€˜proveâ€™ yourself, do so here and now. Take charge of your life in this moment and carry that momentum forward. Do awesome things in this phase of your life and stop looking back wishing you did more; definitely stop spreading stories that arenâ€™t true.
This is me, a brother in arms telling you that you did enough,Â now keep on doing.
3. Maintain Standards
This will be the shortest message of the bunch.
Get your ass back in shape.
The number of Veterans who are fat and weak as hell is too damn high. Use your old Semi-Annual Physical Fitness Tests as your bench mark to compare where you are at now in relation to then. Sailors, run your 1.5 miles & check your time then do a max set of push-ups and sit ups in 2 minutes; Marines, run a damn CFT/PFT.
WeÂ still represent our communities, respect that.
You are a Veteran of the United States Military, look the part.
To Those Who’ve Never Served
1. Standards & Thresholds
One of the greatest things the Navy instilled in me was a limitless amount of self-confidence and energy. It made me believe that there was nothing I couldnâ€™t do. It also set a new threshold for what I could endure.
The Navy set the bar as toÂ what was difficult so high, that since leaving the service I have yet to be truly stressed, uncomfortable, angry, or scared. I had some wild moments in the Navy and nothing Iâ€™ve experienced in the civilian sector comes close.
If youâ€™ve never served youâ€™ve likely never experienced the extreme stress that can be placed on the body and mind of a person while still having them operate efficiently.
Just because you havenâ€™t served, it doesnâ€™t mean you canâ€™t train yourself to raise those standards of performance in your life.
Do things that make you uncomfortable. Join an MMA gym instead of â€˜Curvesâ€™. When youâ€™ve been in a chokehold and fought to remain conscious, filling out paperwork at the DMV isnâ€™t so hard.
Raise the bars in your life by experiencing some intentional discomfort. It will improve your threshold of performance in every area of your life and it will make you appreciate the comforts a little more.
2. Be the citizen we served for
You can â€˜thank a Veteran‘ all you want, it makes us uncomfortable but I get it. What we would all appreciate, much more than a handshake would be for you to act like better people. When I look at people parading around the streets with a noose around a balloon Donald Trump I ask myself “What the hell is the difference between us and those knocking on our door looking to wipe our country off the face of this planet“.
Thank your military by being a quality person; politeness and good deeds are contagious, if you raise your personal standard you allow others to do the same.
3. There is still a war going on
If you were never in the military, I doubt you think about the war at all. I think of itÂ everyÂ day, many Veterans do.
Right now there is an 18 year old kid who is walking outside the wire for the first time. Heâ€™s scared shitless praying to whatever god he believes in that he comes back alive and with all of his limbs.
Iâ€™m writing this post from the comforts of my home; my wife and kids are safe, my life is not in danger, and my friends and family are safe. All of this is because there are others who are fighting on my behalf.
They are taking the fight to our enemyâ€™s doorstep.
To be honest, of the few guys Iâ€™ve kept in touch with who are still serving, there areÂ only twoÂ who I know are currentlyÂ down range and every day Iâ€™m hoping to not get that phone call. They’reÂ motivated dudes who are both at the tip of Americaâ€™s spear.
Remember these things when you tuck your kids into bed, when you make love to your wife, and when you think your day is too much to handle.
Think of that 19 year old kid.
Many are gone forever, leaving their family and friends behind, because like the warriors they were they lived hard and died fighting because they believed in their mission and they believed in their country.
Growing older is a privilegeÂ which has been denied to many.
Honor them by living your life with ferocious passion and never taking a moment of it for granted.
To my fellow Veterans, on this Veteran’s day – Cheers.
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