Porn is Toxic to the Development of Masculinity

This piece will help you change your perspective on the act of watching porn and might possibly be the missing link to helping you finally quit the pixels for good.

 

Now, let’s get this clear right off the bat, masturbation is not some evil act which is to be demonized.

 

That is the first stance taken against my claim that porn is toxic for the development of masculinity and that is not what I’m saying.

What I am saying is that the pixels you are watching, the ones that you think are helping you “relax”, they’re destroying the essence of your masculinity as a man if you are using them in place of sexual enjoyment and attainment in the real world.

 

What’s wrong with porn?

Porn is keeping some men from expressing their sexuality in their relationship with their wife or girlfriend and it’s creating this void of connection on an intimate level which is detrimental to the authentic development of self as well as evolution of the relationship and connection which they would otherwise be able to form with their woman.

I had written something to this very nature on Twitter and it blew up with people (predominantly men) immediately jumping in to defend that there is nothing wrong with watching porn and that “I should care less about what other men are doing with their dicks”.

The large number of responses which attempted to shame me into thinking that discussing the subject somehow made me gay immediately let me know that there was a real problem on a much larger scale than I had originally thought.

I have never and will never cater my message to what my followers or the masses (anyone for that matter) wants to read.

I created my slice of the internet for me to think, act, and say exactly what I want to and in this piece, what I’m saying is porn is toxic. This is especially true for those looking to reclaim any semblance of self-respect or masculinity.

I came across the porn issue when I ran the very first Men of March campaign.

One of the rules was that for the 31 Days they were not allowed to watch porn or jerk off.

The men competing could have sex with a woman, but they could not perform a solo act; many failed.

In fact, every iteration of the 31 Days to Masculinity campaign I’ve run since have seen a majority of failures comes from the no masturbation aspect.

Men are more likely to perform the entire 4,500 push-ups than they are to go 31 days without masturbating, think about that.

 

Now, to be crystal clear the problem isn’t in rubbing one out to a movie playing in your head. If you’re a single guy who goes out, works to get girls, and you’ve been on a dry spell or you’re a married man on a 3 month business trip, I get it.

 

The problem I have found is in the frequency and reasons for jerking off to porn.

 

If you’re a single dude and you jerk off to porn instead of going out to meet women, you’re conditioning yourself to have a brain that is wired for the acceptance and enjoyment of cuckoldry.

The fear of being rejected is not justification to resort to hermit living and vicariously slaying pussy via PornHub. On top of this, think of the time spent (wasted) scrolling for that “perfect scene” only to finish your business then spend the next 10 minutes ashamed of yourself.

Is it worth it to live this way?

 

You’re literally watching another man have sex with a woman you desire and you’re cumming while beating your dick alone in a room. You’re doing this because it’s easier than getting out in the real world and finding a way to get a woman to let you inside her.

 

Porn is addictive

 

If you’re a married man and instead of gaming your wife to keep the attraction alive in the relationship, you’re choosing to go to the bathroom, take a shower, or are sneaking off while she is gone to rub one out then you’re becoming a man who is “satisfied” (numb) and the cycle of your deadbedroom will continue until you haven’t fucked your wife in months and you choose to blame her.

 

That turns a wife into a roommate, not a lover.

Men, you need to bear the burden of performance and accept the workload required to get actual sex from your woman.

You’d be amazed at how heightened your senses become when you haven’t released in days. When you break the conditioning to have “sex” (masturbate) on demand, you’ll find that you’re willing to work for it and you appreciate the presence your wife provides in your life.

She’ll experience it as well when she starts to feel those primal urges coming from you.

Porn-stars aren’t special creatures, in fact their standards are quite low. They are just pretty good at loading up on makeup and getting implants. Aside from those two areas, what does a porn-star have that your girl doesn’t?

 

• Desire?
• Lust?
• A sexual appetite?

You realize these women don’t want to fuck you right?

They get paid to make you think you’re fucking them.

They get paid because thirsty men don’t want to put in the effort to make a woman attracted to them or to embrace their own sexuality in the real world.

You realize that your wife could be your personal slut if you learned to harness your sexual energy instead of wasting it on pixels, right?

I thought these things were self-evident, but still the emails keep coming in from men who are struggling.

When men approach me about helping them get out of their deadbedroom the first piece of advice I give them is to stop watching porn, to which they always (albeit reluctantly) admit to doing and jerking off to.

 

Several have challenged me on my stance of no masturbation or porn arguing that it is a perfectly natural function in many mammals. Again, masturbation when absolutely necessary is whatever, but it should still be a mental video, not online.

 

When it comes to porn?

 

Negative.

 

I won’t budge on the issue, it’s not natural.

Watching women fuck other men is not natural, if you need to release, get the visual in your mind and do what you need to do with you being the man taking her to pound town USA, not watching and enjoying another man take her for what she’s worth.

 

Porn makes you numb

 

 

The thousands of men who’ve participated in 31DtM and have failed the ‘No Masturbation’ aspect have proven my point that very few are able to harness their sexual energy.

 

Instead of gaining control over the aggression which would build up for those who weren’t having sex, they instead turned on a screen and jerked their dick to another man fucking a woman he wanted to have sex with and for a few brief seconds it was worth it, until the self-hate came back in.

 

You don’t get the same satisfaction from pixels as you do making love to a woman. You also don’t get the immediate sense of self-hate and disgust which arises immediately after you complete the act.

Men need to stop making relaxation and comfort their top priority in life.

If you think I’m fucked up and completely wrong, see if you can go two weeks without jerking off (you can only have sex) few can do this.

If you can’t then maybe it’s time you take a step back and recognize that for a measly two weeks you cannot go without masturbation, that’s a problem.

If I said you couldn’t go two weeks without a drink or smoke you’d agree, yeah that’s an issue; masturbation is no different. Most men are addicted to porn and they are too embarrassed to admit it or they aren’t aware because of the taboo around it.

I’m not the only one who sees this, in the podcast below I’m joined by Nick Lowary and Ed Latimore, two content creators who also broached the subject and faced serious backlash.

I wrote this piece and we recorded that podcast because the conversation needs to be had and the awareness needs to be brought to the issue.

 

Jerking off to porn is not natural.

 

For a majority of men who’ve stopped jerking off, they’ve realized that all of the sudden, they were attracted to their wife again. These men were initiating sex again and taking her like a caveman on bath-salts and she loved it.

For those who aren’t married, I’ve had countless stories from men saying that after a few days of no release, “they had to get a girl” and they did. It helped alleviate their social anxiety as well because at some point, who cares?

 

Porn is numbing one our most primal urges as men, the desire to fuck.

 

Men are jerking off to porn instead of having sex with women and it’s sapping them of their drive. They’re creating this universe in their head which does not align with reality at all; the big lips, big tits, and tight bodies being smashed by these massive cocks have men pretending it’s them doing the deed and the brain doesn’t know the difference.

 

My message is that of the pursuit of authenticity, not being a part of a LARPing wonderland where “you’re” fucking these women because again, that isn’t what’s happening, you’re in your room watching pixels.

 

The woman on the screen, she isn’t having sex with you.

 

The woman in your bed would if you were to show her that primal masculine sexual energy which exists inside your soul. You shouldn’t be “rubbing one out” before a date so you’ll “last longer” if you happen to have sex or that you won’t be as distracted by being horny.

 

Porn Destroys Marriages

 

You need to harness that power in your loins and use it to drive yourself to women with even greater ferocity.

 

Women want a man who wants sex, it’s disgusting that we live in a world where men pretend sex isn’t on their mind. We’re men, our T levels are (should be) at a level where sexual desire isn’t even a question.

 

It’s important that we keep in mind that just because we’re men we aren’t the only ones who enjoy sex.

 

Women want to have sex too, they enjoy it as much as we do; the caveat to that is they don’t want to have sex with an emasculated man who represses his sexual urges.

 

If you cannot go days without watching porn and blowing your load, you have a problem and it’s literally killing you and your opportunity to experience an optimized life.

 

You’re numbing and desensitizing yourself to the beauty of women, you keep yourself numb and because of this you’re unable to experience the entire spectrum of what it is to be a man.

 

I’ve received countless emails from men who’ve said that after they blocked out all porn and masturbation, it was as though their brain rewired itself and they found that their attraction to their girl rose significantly and she responded in turn to this newfound drive in him. These men also have shared how this crossed over into other realms of improvement in their life.

 

1. Their lifts went up by being more focused and aggressive at the gym.
2. Their work life improved as they became more confrontational and direct as opposed to their normal operating default of passive compliance.
3. Their friendships became more meaningful as they allowed themselves to be more authentic in who they were as a man.

 

The pixels are not protecting you from the rejection you may experience from your woman, they’re killing you with overwhelmingly fake pleasure and accomplishment.

 

Have you ever noticed how you get disgusted with yourself immediately after you cum to porn? But after you have sex with your girl good you feel a sense of pride and accomplishment?

 

Which do you think is better? 

 

Why is porn free?

 

Western society as a whole has innumerable instances where the loathing of anything masculine has been made quite obvious.

Ask yourself, why are pro-male resources consistently banned from the internet yet porn is infinitely available?

Why would society want men to have limitless access to porn?

I’m not a tin-foil hat type guy, but if I were to want men to repress their animal instinct, I’d start by numbing the fire in their hearts in the first place; complacent and comfortable men are easily controlled.

 

Ask yourself, has society enabled you to neuter yourself?

 

Recognize what’s going on and realize that we need to harness that power and remove the vices which are sapping you of your primal energy. Be honest with yourself, you’ve lived too long in the realm of numbed existence.

 

Porn has become a crutch, one which doesn’t support you but rather keeps you in a perpetual cycle of redundant mediocrity without progress.

 

You should take pride in being a sexual male.

 

You should recognize that the amount of testosterone in your body makes it physiologically impossible for you to not be horny all of the time and that’s ok.

 

We cannot live a moment longer working to actively repress who we are as men. Embrace what makes you a man and own it, stop numbing yourself to oblivion

 

Don’t go overboard with it, as the sexual experience shared between you and your woman needs to be navigated so that both parties fully embrace and enjoy the journey.

 

At the same time, you must accept your sexual nature the same way you accept your aggressive, confrontational, competitive, stubborn, never quit, romantic, stoic, insert all masculine traits here behaviors.

 

You’re a man and a man is many things, too include a very sexual being. So please, do not avoid, numb, or repress any aspect of who you are.

 

We’re Our Worst Enemy

 

 

I’ve written millions of words to bring attention to the plight men are facing when it comes to the development of their authentic and masculine sense of self.

 

The problem that has eluded me is how do I eradicate the “self-defeatist” behavior of porn in a society that is so conditioned to support it they’ll criticize the very notion that something could be wrong with cucking yourself to pixels.

 

I can easily write about the feminist movement and how it has nothing to do with equality and is more comparable to a hate-movement than anything else. That is easy as I have an external enemy to point to where men can think, “Yeah he’s right“.

 

But, having a man accept the responsibility of his own demise, that’s a whole different beast and level of ‘ego death’ than many are capable of.

 

Unfortunately, due to the inability to objectively assess one’s self when it comes to porn, we are losing men to the electronic world.

 

How do I get men to recognize that on top of society’s actions against men, many are destroying themselves voluntarily through the act of turning to pixels for relief as opposed to physical attainment?

Men are regressing from the environment (reality) which requires them to take risks and put themselves in a situation where they may face rejection. They’re opting out of the world that requires they build their character, and that they actually engage in the game required to gain interest from the opposite sex.

Why should a man put in all of that work when he can just do nothing and get his rocks off by clicking a few buttons?

This is a question many have asked, yet the answer is quite obvious; because the internet isn’t real though the consequences of living vicariously through it leads to very real and debilitating personality disorders as well as the inability to develop a sense of authentic self and masculine expression.

This problem will only worsen with virtual reality headsets and options. If porn is something you’re struggling with, reach out now before the drugs offered (VR) get worse.

The men inside the Fraternity of Excellence can help you hold yourself accountable as well as many other groups out there.

I can’t do it for you, you have to decide to take ownership of your sexuality.

But, if you do then I can help you at least hold the conversation and work towards getting yourself to a better place mentally.

Brothers, we cannot continue to numb ourselves. It’s time we quit porn and move forward owning who we are as men, sleeping with real women, not pixels.

Take Action and Take Care,

 

If you’d like to support the work I’m doing or donate for any benefit it may have brought to your life, the best way to do so would be via one of the means below.

Thank you.

Thank You For Your Support.